Updated: Mar 21, 2020
Do you ever feel as if the pain will never go away? As if you are just going through life as a zombie? I remember reading, or hearing people talk about divorce..."Yes, it is sad, but you most move on. You'll meet someone else." As if I didn't have someone I couldn't survive. Well, I did survive. For about 7 years after my separation I did exactly that. But surviving wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to thrive. I wanted to wake up in the morning and not feel the pain, the resentment, the tiredness from doing it all by myself. I used to think that I needed to find myself again. How did I get so lost in the first place? I began to search for answers. I read all kinds of positive information. Publications that promised me that if I did A or B or even C I would become whole again. Nothing helped. I couldn't understand why.
My health was at risk. The level of stress so high.
Now, I understand everyone is different, and different people is affected differently. Somehow, however I feel the process of healing after divorce is somewhat similar for everyone.
My story is different and yet the same. No-one knows what it takes to move forward. No-one knows the pain, the amount of fear, the endless sleepless nights, the strength required to get out of bed everyday. The impact this has on your health, not only physical, but emotional as well. No-one, except those who have gone through it. The good news is that we are so resilient even if we don't think so, and after all the tribulation we come through. We start discovering that life is not so bad after all. We have been given the opportunity to explore parts of ourselves we didn't know we had and for the most part, those new discoveries continue to create a better person, a better mother, a better friend.
And then, how do you move forward? I have discovered that it is a decision. A conscious decision. To let go of all the things that hurt you. To learn from all the things YOU allowed yourself to get hurt with. To forgive yourself and others. And most of all, to be true to yourself, always!